Riddled by social anxiety, his loneliness finally swelled until it was powerful enough to overcome his fear. It would be months before his wife and son would arrive from Houston to join him in this new city that a job offer had lured him to. He craved a connection to someone so badly that when he first saw her in the hallway, he didn’t immediately turn and hurry off as he was wont to do when confronted with someone he had never met before. He stopped and observed her. She was a large black female and she was staring right back at him.
His mouth was dry from the stress chemicals of adrenaline and cortisol which flooded his bloodstream and raised the volume of his heartbeat to a military tattoo in his ears. He knew that it would do no good to ask her name, so he decided to refer to her as Lisa (his wife’s name) as she turned and walked away at a brisk pace. He didn’t blame her. What was she supposed to think when confronted with a middle-aged white man staring at her open-mouthed.
He continued to see her in the hallway, although not every day. At first, he only addressed her within the safe confines of his mind. Then one day he called out to her, “Lisa, how are you doing today? It’s good to see you.” She didn’t respond, but she didn’t run away either. Eventually it was he who left, feeling uncomfortable in her presence.
Their meetings continued in this manner, with him addressing her with a friendly salutation in the hallway practically every day. She still didn’t speak to him, but it wouldn’t be accurate to say that she didn’t respond. She seemed much more comfortable, never running away, and she even seemed to sway, ever so slightly, in what seemed to be almost a sensuous manner. He was still nervous, but rather than being overwhelming, it was stimulating.
One morning, following a night of tousled sheets and erotic dreams, he woke and went to the shower to rinse off his fevered sweat. He stepped over the tub into the curtained enclave of the shower and immediately let out an audible gasp. She was there, right in front of him, her beautifully formed legs and body brought into dynamic contrast against the white tile. His member, still swollen from the previous night’s fantasies, curled up into a small comma of flesh. Apparently disappointed by this rebuff, she loosed herself from the wall on a strand of silk and disappeared down the drain.
Literature in Small Doses 