We have heard the concerns of voters across the country regarding the integrity of their vote, the very backbone of democracy. In response, we have developed the most secure electronic voting system ever devised.
The digiTALLY 4000 guarantees that the right vote is cast every time. The security of your vote is ensured every time by our system’s built-in cameras which snap a picture of whoever is casting the ballot. Expensive recounts can be avoided and there is a permanent record of WHO voted for WHAT.
If that isn’t enough to ease your fears about the wrong people voting, check out these additional features: You have auto-complete built into your cell phone to save you the aggravation of having to complete common words and phrases – now that technology is built into your voting machine. If you make a mistake and start to type in a nonsense word like B-e-t-o, it will automatically correct it to a real name like “Ted.”
What about all of those times you’ve tried to vote a straight-party ticket and you accidentally voted for the wrong party? The digiTALLY 4000 makes sure that you vote for the right party every time.
Feedback that we have received from customers indicates that they fear foreign interference in U.S. elections. To combat such interference, each digiTALLY 4000 comes with a built-in scanner that uses the image from the camera to determine whether or not you’re a real American. Any vote cast by someone who doesn’t look like a real American will automatically be disqualified, making sure that the right candidate wins.
Our patented algorithms take the final result and use it as a template to correct any ballots that don’t match, ensuring the integrity of the results every time. People who commit voter fraud, here defined as voting for the wrong candidate, will be purged from the voting rolls in order to promote reliable results in the next contest.
The biggest problem with democracy is unpredictability. That can be completely eliminated with the new digiTALLY 4000. Available in red states everywhere.
Literature in Small Doses 