“That was the last of the candidates,” Jenny, the HR director, told her assistant. “Now all we have to do is choose one. Who do you think we should hire?”
“Just as a formality, right?” Martha answered. “Aren’t we going to go with Jane? She’s worked here for years. Remember how much fun we had with her at the office Christmas party last year?”
“Well, yes, but she’s always been in sales. We’re trying to fill a vacancy in accounting. I didn’t see anything in her resume that reflected any experience in that field. Besides, wouldn’t that be a cut in pay for her since you don’t earn commissions in accounting?”
“Didn’t you know?” Martha responded, “She’s at the bottom of the department in sales. Most months all she gets is her base salary with no commission. This would be a bump in pay for her.”
“Well, if it was just a bookkeeping position, I might think about it. Then all she would have to do is learn a computer program. But this position involves budgeting and corporate taxes. I thought it would be a perfect fit for Jamilla Price. She spent three years working in the government’s General Accounting Office. That will come in handy in case we’re ever audited.”
“Audited by who?” Martha shot back. “By the IRS or the EEOC?” Jenny’s precisely penciled eyebrows shot straight up.
“What are you implying? She is by far the most qualified candidate in both training and experience. If anything, she’s overqualified.”
“Exactly!” Martha said. “That’s the problem with DEI hires. They make everyone else look bad by comparison. They’re always trying too hard.” Jenny nodded.
“Thank you, Martha, for your unvarnished opinion. It has allowed me to make my final decision with ease.” Martha smiled with satisfaction.
Two days later, Jenny emailed this memo to the entire office:
TO: Staff of Burdine Consolidated Industries
FROM: Jennifer Burdine, HR Director
RE: Shifting Some Positions to Fill Recent Vacancies
I am excited to announce that a recent vacancy will be filled by Jane Madison from our sales department. She will be taking over from Martha Robbins in our Human Resources department who will be leaving to spend more time with her family. Our vacancy in the Accounting department will be filled by Jamilla Price, CPA, who accepted our offer yesterday. She comes to us with lots of experience and will be a valuable addition to our team. Please give her a warm welcome to Burdine Consolidated Industries.
Literature in Small Doses 