When I got to the party, I felt completely outclassed. The invitation said “masks optional,” but I can never resist the opportunity to dress up in costume. The event was being held at one of the finest mansions in town, a palatial homestead that consisted of thirty-five acres of prime real estate with all of the luxurious appointments one might expect of the ultra-rich including not one, but four helipads. That being the case, I decided to go all out on my fancy dress and spend at least as much as I would on high-quality formal evening wear.
I had gone to a professional costumier whose regular clients were playhouses and movie productions, and selected a bear costume that was actually made of ursine fur. I peered out through the mouth of the mask over genuine bear teeth. I felt that it met all of the standards that the occasion demanded, but when I arrived and entered the ballroom, I was perplexed.
About half of the people in the room were dressed in bespoke and designer evening wear. The other half were dressed in costumes that would be the envy of any science fiction movie producer due to their realism and attention to detail, but they were all the same costume. They were dressed like scaly, snake-eyed lizard people. The dichotomy in dress made the dance floor resemble a chess board with clearly defined playing pieces. I was the only bear in the room, but instead of that being a point of pride, I felt woefully out of place.
I would have felt out of place anyway, since everyone else present was a captain of industry and I was no more than a tutor for the host’s twelve-year-old daughter. I earned the invitation because I had saved her life with the Heimlich manoeuver when she had choked on an overambitious mouthful. I asked one of the servants I knew where I could find Mr. Drake and one of the lizard-men was pointed out to me.
“Daniel,” he said, “Why are you wearing that ridiculous costume?”
“The invitation said ‘masks optional.’”
The Drake lizard pointed at the people dancing in their tuxes and gowns.
“They’re the ones wearing their masks. I’m not.”
Literature in Small Doses 