Asylum

It was a deportation hearing, but it could have been worse. Much worse. Illegal immigrants to Alternate Universe 2342 were executed as soon as they were discovered. At least here in AU1082 you were given the chance to plead for refugee status and were even provided an expert advocate for the proceedings. But the expert had told him that the fact he had tried to pass himself off as a resident of this universe had considerably weakened any chance he may have had at receiving mercy from the court.

“Citizen AU1083-13A, please come forward and lay down upon the couch!” the bailiff commanded. Michael approached the black leather and chrome chaise longue that occupied the space in front of the judge’s desk and his advocate sat in an armchair next to it.

“Citizens of AU1082 please join us today to elevate the truth in the case of AU1082 versus Citizen AU1083-13A, or as he is known on his world, Michael Williams.”

“Revere the truth!” Those congregated in the courtroom responded in unison.

“Advocate, have you explained the proceedings to your client?”

“Yes, your Honesty.”

“Very good, but due to the circumstances surrounding this particular client, I will reiterate the process for him. AU1083-13A, I have done extensive research and I have found that in your universe legal proceedings amount to a storytelling contest. Is that so?”

“I… uh. I never really thought about it that way before, but I guess that’s probably true.”

“You guess that’s probably true?” The judge looked as if something quite malodorous had just blown into his face. “The truth is not a probability. The truth is not something you guess at. The truth is absolute.”

“Your Honesty!” the advocate interjected, “Might I remind the court that my client was raised in a universe where the truth is considered relative.” There were audible gasps from the crowd. “From the moment of his birth he was subjected to lies and he was expected to lie himself. I am not here to defend the savage ways of his universe, but you must know that AU1083 was a penal colony that went feral after the guards were wiped out.”

“As I said, advocate, I have done my research. I know that the Guardians of the Truth, the unassailably honest Neanderthal, were destroyed in an act of genocide by Homo Sapiens such as your client, but I did not want to prejudice the court against him. How do you think this information serves in his defense?”

“My client was under duress. He had no choice but to engage in dishonesty. It was the only way for him to escape a world of lies and falsehood that he did not create. When he found the portal in the Sonoran desert, he came here. It was not guarded and it took him to a neighboring world where the plague of lying does not exist. The portal guards were dead for millennia before he came along, so any and all charges of illegal immigration must be dropped.”

The judge looked at the advocate solemnly for a few moments, rubbing his chin. Then he shook his head as he spoke.

“If your client’s intention was to escape to a land of truth where he would be free of deception, then why was his first act to misrepresent himself as a citizen of our universe?”

“Simple, your Honesty. In his frightened and traumatized state his consciousness was relegated to its prime function of survival. And, as a matter of truth, he did not misrepresent himself. I would like to call my client’s first witness to the stand. Official AU1082-436G, please come forward to be sworn in by the bailiff.” The judge nodded his assent and beckoned for the witness to approach.

“Do you promise to elevate the truth above all else?” the bailiff asked.

“I do,” said the elderly, uniform-clad man in a voice so soft that Michael and his advocate struggled to hear it.

“Will you state your name for the court, please.” The judge asked.

“Yes, your Honesty. My name is AU1082-436G.”

“Please speak up, man. The testimony you are about to give is being entered into the Akashic record.”

“Yes,” 436G said with more volume. “I’m sorry your Honesty.”

“Your witness,” the judge said to Michael’s advocate.

“Mr. 436G, could you please tell the court your utilitarian assignment?”

“Yes. I’m a migro. An immigration official at Portal Gate 51.”

“And how long have you worked at PG51?”

“For twenty-five years, ma’am.”

“That’s a long time. Are most of the migros as experienced as you are?”

“Not many. most are converted to supervisory roles or retire by the time they reach my age.”

“Why do people generally retire at your age, Mr. 436G?”

“Well, it’s an awful lot of time on your feet, it is. After a while your back and your knees start to give out. And your vision isn’t what it once was. I’m not doddering yet, but my thinking isn’t nearly as clear as it was just ten years ago.”

“You said your vision isn’t what it once was. Does that mean that you’re going blind?”

“No, it’s not that bad. It’s just that I have to put on magnifiers to read small print and I sometimes mistake one number or figure for another.”

“Has the inadequacy of your vision ever caused you to make a mistake?” 436G looked towards Michael sheepishly.

“I hadn’t thought so, but now it seems I did make a mistake when I scanned the gentleman here for his Universal ID.”

“Let the record show that AU1082-436G is indicating AU1083-13A.” The advocate turned back towards her witness. “What happened when you scanned my client?”

“I thought the digital readout showed AU1082-13A, but an audit conducted later showed that it had actually displayed AU1083-13A. I thought he was one of our citizens, so I just waved him through.”

“At any time during this process did my client make any claims, false or otherwise, regarding his identity.”

“No, ma’am.”

“There you have it. My client, escaping a nightmare world of lies, came here to seek asylum where he can abide in truth. He has engaged in no lying or deception here. Even though he is addicted to it, he has refrained from dishonesty out of respect for himself and our culture. I rest my case.”

“You use an interesting choice of words, advocate, when you state that your client is addicted to lying. The reason that we have strictures against immigrants from universes where lies are prevalent is as a quarantine to stop it from spreading.” The judge’s hand drifted toward Michael when he said “it.” “And I couldn’t help but notice that at no point during this trial did you allow your client to speak for himself. I think I would be remiss if I didn’t give him the opportunity to do so.” The advocate’s facial composure shifted momentarily.

“My client has nothing to hide. Michael, please answer the judge’s questions with complete honesty.”

“Do you promise to elevate the truth above all else?”” the bailiff asked.

“I do,” Michael replied from the couch.”

“Tell me, Michael. Do you know the difference between lies and the truth?” the judge asked. Michael pursed his lips and exhaled before responding.

“Most of the time.”

“Most of the time?” the judge said, clearly disturbed. “When are you unable to differentiate between the two?”

“Where I come from, there are people who are really good at lying. What they do is instead of saying something that’s completely false, they take something that’s true and they twist it so it is purposely misunderstood. The problem is that since most of its ingredients are true, those kind of lies are hard to suss out. So, it’s hard to differentiate between lies and truth when somebody is deliberately trying to manipulate your perception.”

“I see. And this kind of manipulation is commonplace in your universe?”

“Yes, your Honesty, it is.”

“Lying only serves to debase the truth, so you come from a world that has launched, from what you describe, a war against truth.” Michael’s mouth twitched.

“That’s not entirely true, your Honesty. Lying can sometimes serve noble purposes.”

“I should very much like you to explain how that is possible,” the judge said with a faint whiff of anger hanging over his statement. Michael inhaled and bit his upper lip.

“Let’s say somebody is hiding in your house from bad people who want to do them harm. When they come to your door and ask if you’ve seen the person they’re chasing, you can save the person by saying they’re not there or that you saw them running in the opposite direction. Lies aren’t evil if they preserve human dignity or human life, right?”

“That is a compelling argument. Do you have any others?”

“No, that’s about it. It feels kind of icky to have to defend lying.”

“Indeed. Well, if there is no more testimony to be had, I will retire to my chambers before rendering a verdict.”

The advocate was delighted when the verdict came back in her client’s favor. Michael celebrated his freedom with her by eating a delicious meal of Raton l’ Orange at a fancy restaurant. As he kept filling the advocate’s wine glass, she became more and more loquacious. He learned the locations of the gates that gave access to all the riches of the universe. He had found exactly what he was seeking. That’s the truth.