“Why are you staring at that couple, Jensen? They seem a bit young to be interested in a fossil like you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Johnson. That young man is my nephew.”
“Are you going to introduce us or doesn’t he know that his uncle is a wee bit lavender.”
“Well, he’s obviously not following in my footsteps. Do you see that tart he’s with?”
“I wouldn’t throw stones if I were you. I’ve lost count of the number of times people have asked me that same question in reference to you.”
“How dare you compare me to some trollop.”
“I would say that someone who bends over to tie his shoes twice as often when he’s wearing his tight, Italian-cut trousers invites such comparisons.”
“Some assets are meant to be locked away for safekeeping, but a work of art,” Jensen suddenly smacked the round portion of his buttocks that hung below his suit coat, “is meant to be displayed.”
“So why shouldn’t this young woman display her own blushing voluptuousness?”
“It’s not what she’s displaying that concerns me.”
“Whatever do you mean?”
“I’ve sat here and watched my nephew buy her dinner and drinks. He had the violinist play several rounds of songs. For each frivolity it was my nephew who reached into his purse.”
“That’s as it should be. After all, I have not spent a farthing this evening. I have been the beneficiary of your largesse. In any case, you know that all that and more will be returned to you once we retire to our chambers. Who’s to say from whence she may reach to repay your nephew’s generosity?” Jensen snorted with derision.
“I’ll wager you a gold sovereign, Johnson, that she has bestowed no more than a kiss upon him. Not so much as a token of affection as a hook to slowly reel him out of the water and separate him from his caviar before leaving him to suffocate on the wooden planks of the dock.”
“His caviar? My dear Jensen, you do know that delicacy is only found in the females of the species. And, speaking of caviar, I suddenly have an overwhelming craving for some Beluga. Be a dear and order us some.”
“A capital idea, Johnson,” Jensen said as he eclipsed the distance between himself and his nephew in a few long strides. “We were about to order some caviar and a bottle of Champagne. We’d be delighted if you’d join us. Dear nephew, won’t you introduce me to your enchanting companion?”
“Of course. Uncle Geoffrey, this is Millicent. Millicent, this is my Uncle, Geoffrey Jensen. He is the proud owner of Jensen’s Haberdashery. And this gentleman is his floor manager, Mr. Giles Johnson.”
“Millicent, is it?” Jensen said. “Would you happen to be in the jewelry trade?”
“Well, no I…”
“Your eyes lighted upon every gold watch and diamond-studded money clip that has come out of a gentleman’s pocket this evening. Please keep your gold-digging away from the family tree.”
Literature in Small Doses 